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The exams came sonner than I expected.
I hoped to be completely ready, I’m not.
I expected to understand what I didn’t understand, same shit.
I wished for a great progress on my thesis also…I started working on it more seriously these last days because I can eventually meet my supervisor…
It’s not just that I’m not ready, in fact I tried to prepare myself. At the end, I lost motivation and my self-efficacy to learn statistics and psychmetry…I don’t feel being able to endure more lectures and information. I’m waiting to leaving it behind…
Yes, if we’d learned the discipline correctly last year, and if the programm and things were better, we would have more skills and a more solid basic understanding…right now, I won’t say I asted two years but It’s a slap, a life slap, to not understimat the path you consider taking…
And for the doctorat and stuff, the lesson is on not understimating what bothers you…because what bothers me is the constant translating process of document and I’ve attained a degree where I don’t want to translate this kind of documents anymore, I can imagine myself doing it, it’s hard for me to translate it to arabic and I don’t want to do it for many years and without concrete results nor good salary…I’m out now xD
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About freelacing, I’m on my way…I had a plan, I’m working on it these days and I’ll talk about it in a month or two, maybe three, whenever I see results and encouraging stuff to keep doing it xD
I’ll talk about it, it’s too soon right now.
My approach is kind of fun but, will see…..
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I avoided doing some tasks, now, I set an alarm, 10min and I do it…it’s cool and I sometimes I end up working on it twice longer.
Sometimes, I just do my 10minutes and it’s enough to say that I’ve progressed on it.
Yes, you can’t do it one day before the deadline, you need more time and space but it’s one useful tactic you can use when you really don’t want to do a boring stuff Or something you now, you have to do but you procrastinate…
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I’m doing better with the OCD (Magical Thinking…)
I wanted to free myself from it. I wanted to accept the consequences and to face it’s bluff….
I wanted to rely on god’s plan
I wanted to let myself do what I want…
It needs some extra attention, to not fall on it’s trap but with some reminders and videos and a good progress, you can keep liberating yourself from it’s lies and illusions and culpability.
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I think I’ll publish one article per week.
I more focused on the journaling type of content and I have others tasks to deal with it more seriously from now.
So I find, publishing one article will be more reasonable. In fact, I can feel more inspired and make it better because I don’t have to force myself to talk about stuff I don’t want to just to make content.
I know, it seems like I’m running away from my responsibilities, but I want to try one article the next months and I prefer reducing the rhythm than stopping completely.
My articles are bad but I’m happy that I did follow through (more or less xD) what I said, and that I didn’t stop doing the work…yes, I did bad writing but at least, it existed xD
